“. . . Don’t Get Too Skinny”

I will openly admit I’m in the process of trying online dating. And recently I was talking to a man who commented to me that I look really good, and it’s obvious I’ve lost a lot of weight. I said I appreciated his comment only to receive a subsequent message to not get “too skinny” otherwise he wouldn’t find me as attractive. 

This is the second time in my life this comment has come from a man. The first time I received it was from my partner of over 5 years except that his comment was I had become too skinny and he was no longer attracted to me. To give a little context he said it mid-explosive fight and probably only said it to get a rise out of me buuuut the point stands: why is it up to anyone else how much weight I lose, or don’t lose for that matter?

I was blown away by this man, who I had messaged a couple times, and the fact he thought it was completely ok to tell me he would only find me attractive somewhere between this weight and that weight. Excuse me, but a) you have no idea what it is I actually weigh and b) it’s none of your business. 

I am consistently surprised by people and how they feel they can comment on your progress in life and how you should either keep going or stop right now. No one has the right to tell you how you should feel about you; no one can make you feel inferior or like you don’t matter. Your thoughts, feelings and opinions about yourself are the most important thing you have. Or, as my girl Carrie Bradshaw once put it: 

“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

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I decided to stop talking to that man. I felt as though it wasn’t an appropriate thing for him to say. I know there’s an argument that maybe he was joking or something but that is in poor taste, and in an online environment perception is key. Whether you know how you meant something, how someone perceives it is more important. 

And now that I think about it . . . it’s like that in the real world. We have to consider how someone perceives what we are saying or doing, and how it may alter his/her perception of us. For a prime example, what that man said to me changed how I felt towards communicating with him any further and meant I cut off communication. Had he not said anything other than congratulating me on the weight loss and success perhaps we would have met up, gone on a date and who knows where that could of gone? 

d696ead32adc6af51cc7bc0fdc5632c8This also makes me think: what could have happened in my life if I would have said something a little differently or taken the time to get to the bottom of what someone said to me? I’m quite sure that really this man didn’t mean anything harsh by what he said, in fact, he very likely was just joking. But, and this may be a small but, what if he wasn’t? And with that little question comes the reason I acted the way I did. The reason so many people react the way they do. They don’t  call it a gut instinct for nothing. Perhaps if this was someone I knew for a long time I could tell if he was joking or not, but I don’t know him and likely I never will get to know him. 

To end I strongly believe that it’s up to us to decide when enough is enough: whether it be weight loss, drinking, eating, and yes – even men. It’s up to us because we will dictate how people treat us by how we allow them to treat us. I was in a relationship for a long time where I sent the message to treat me however, and with a good enough apology it won’t matter anymore. Well, that stopped a long time ago. You cannot just say things like that to me and think I will let them fall by the wayside . . . I didn’t appreciate it then, and I definitely don’t appreciate it now. 

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Save Me Rescue Charity Work Out

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So for a blog that I thought would be dedicated to running my first post is actually nothing to do with running. My first post is about a really cool fundraiser I participated in on May 1. For the last year I’ve been working out at a small studio gym for cross training called One More Rep. My trainer is awesome, and sometimes full of tough love, but she is also so passionate about animals and our studio dogs are a staple for us.

12985526_10156707299295214_8797415628315635570_nThese three amigos captured my heart the very first time I met them, and the littlest one Sasha (she’s the white and brown one at the top left) was adopted through an agency called Save Me Rescue. So when my trainer said she’s organizing a fundraiser to help this wonderful organization of course I said yes. Animal welfare is a deep, deep passion of mine and anything to help dogs who need to find a home is something I am in for, hands down.

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Just some background info . . . One More Rep is actually the only studio in my city that has IndoRowers. These are stationary rowers that use water resistance to train. And they’re actually pretty cool. As a runner, rowing is one of the best cross training workouts and so any time to work on that I’m also going to say yes.

So this work out was a two hour rowing, spin and core session made for bodies of steel, and it was the most fun I’ve had working out in a long time plus it was for a great cause so how could it not be totally awesome?

IMG_0927So my trainer  was so committed to helping this organization she decided to have a special work out where we got to pay for some torture and sweat soaked clothes, but on the bright side we got these super cool towels to commemorate the event . . . so there’s that.

Anyways, during this fundraiser there were a couple people there from Save Me Rescue and they brought a dog with them. First off, they brought a dog to a workout event full of women and second this dog was the cutest dog I’ve probably ever seen (and I have two very, very cute dogs in my life right now). Betty – which is the best name for this dog – is 12 years old and she’s blind, so she is constantly working her way through life by testing the ground one step at a time.

During the work out I got to thinking – and I had 2 hours to think about this – how Betty is navigating through life and how trusting she has to be of the people around her. She has no idea when someone is coming up to pet her and it scares her a little sometimes. But she loves to be held and cuddled. And I thought why can’t we trust the people around us more? Why can’t we go through life one step at a time instead of constantly worrying? Why can’t we just be happy like Betty? I decided to try to just enjoy my life, one step at a time, like Betty. (PS – I got news today that someone inquired to adopt Betty . . . she’s going to a fur-ever home! YAY!!)

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Ok – back to the work out.  People love animals and almost everyone is always saying how they wish they could be in better shape . . . so take advantage of people’s kind nature and raise some money for causes like this. Also, if you have talented friends (not me, just clarifying) who can make super cool cupcakes like these you could also sell those because well, people also like cupcakes. Who doesn’t?

This was an awesome event and I highly recommend getting involved in your community in any way that you can. There are so many rescue organizations that do such good work and they need help – they need leashes, toys, food, foster homes – all the time. So here’s Save Me Rescue, and if you live in South Western Ontario you could definitely get involved with this organization. If not, I’m quite sure there’s one in your area.

Next post will be about running . . . promise!

Amanda